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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I got to have sex and you didn't

“I got to have sex last night and you didn’t.” That doesn’t really seem fair, but I guess it works out. I get to fuck, she gets to sleep. It seems more than fair, with each of us getting to do something we like.

I did my typical 2am insomniac wake-up and wishing I could do River in the middle of the night. She’s recently given me permission for that as long as she doesn’t have to wake up early the next day. I love fucking in the half-asleep state. The amplification of the feelings, both emotional and physical, can make me feel like I’m going to pass out from pleasure. Even if in reality I’m just falling asleep. Reality doesn’t matter in dreams.

But I wasn’t getting hard enough at 2am and River was facing the wrong way for a proper snuggle and stick-in, so I got out of bed to do some other insomniac things like checking my email and writing. Fucking insomnia, feeding my compulsions.

For most of our relationship River has been the insomniac and I didn’t understand it. I still don’t understand it even though it happens to me now. Now it’s River who can fall asleep, and back asleep, in minutes while I can take hours.

When I come back to bed in an hour she’s facing the right way to snuggle but now I’m tired and fall asleep. I think.

But an erection wakes me up at 5am. I stick it between her legs from behind and let it ride against her vulva. She gets up to pee and as usual starts some gentle snoring a few minutes later while I periodically rub my cock against her bush to keep it hard and fall half asleep. I don’t need to fuck. Feeling my hard cock against her is enough.

Somehow my mind has changed. I work a finger between her lips. Slide the tip of my cock into her wetness. Push. Feel her push back. And start a gentle fuck to the rhythm of her breathing as she snores and I pass out from pleasure.

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